I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
stop calling my apartment porn island.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
