Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
