Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
