And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
