still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I need a beard to bite.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
that is very illegal...i love you.
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