anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
worst night to have a conscience
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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