are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
