It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
