He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
