and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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