Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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