for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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