Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
