He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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