You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Randomize
