I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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