just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize