went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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