dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
