My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
