yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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