It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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