Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
