so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
people are starting to question the shark bite story
should my penis look like a turkey
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
