Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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