Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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