She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
