She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
