Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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