i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
they're like a gay fantastic four
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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