Rock
Scissors
Fuck
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize