Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I think I sprained my soul last night
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
