I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
