Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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