"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
