just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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