this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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