Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
