Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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