Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
