u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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