those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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