There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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