I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
