you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
