we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize