So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
The air taste purple.
Two words: nipple clamps
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