I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
