I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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