Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
