That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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