And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
