i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
