I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
