are you still at the devil's house?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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