i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
