We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
