One girl and one boy is just not enough.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
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