I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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