im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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