I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
