He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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