Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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