As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
