What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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